Where does one story end, and the next begin?

As I ponder whether to continue writing in this blog, I think it a opportune time to reflect on why I started it in the first place. Leaving the Mormon church is the hardest thing I've ever done. Choosing to belong to the church, and to be as active as I could be, is the most consuming activity of my life to date. It is akin to choosing a profession, or a spouse. It is a lifestyle church that absorbs its willing members wholly into the communal ties and bonds of participation. Participation interlocks you with people and experiences that become the very fabric of who you are. Most religions won't understand the Mormon level of participation. For many, 'normal church' is a place to be fed spiritually. 'Mormon church' is a place to be fed through feeding. Normal church is a place to socially connect with people, and make some friends that have notionally similar beliefs. Mormon church is about changing who you are to fit into common beliefs with everyone in your ward, and they become more like family. There may be minor differences in how you think, but for most of the doctrine, you are one with the group.

This blog has afforded me an opportunity to vent, to discuss, to write, and to publish my feelings about my experience with leaving the Mormon church. At some point, I suppose, I won't self-identify as Mormon. That time hasn't come yet. I'm still very much a product of the Mormon church, and feel like I will always be that product. How I live my life. How I interact with my wife and kids. How I treat others. These are all still affected in positive ways by my experience in the church. However, my need to find catharsis with my experience in the church is becoming satisfied. I am seeing the experience in the past tense. When I first contemplated leaving the church, there was some hope for what the future held, and a lot of fear. Now there is almost all hope, and almost no fear.

Has this blog has met the fullness of its creation? It exists as a testament of my research and experiences documenting the profound changes in my perspectives on life and the church. It will be a reference for any who desire to know what I've learned, how I've grown, and where I'm at. This blog has been in the context of a former Mormon. Going forward, it is the start of a new chapter. Does that new chapter fit into this blog, or into a new blog?

JB