Members of the church will frequently say, "why not continue to belong? The church is full of goodness and can bring your children closer to god." The most damaging element of the church is that it allows and promotes personal fault as the primary reason for distance from the divine. When we don't get answers it is because we didn't pray hard enough or fast long enough. When something bad happens we look first to our own person to find fault and guilt. There is nothing wrong that is not your fault, always. How do I keep this out of my children's lives? Give them a healthy understanding that statistically speaking they are ahead of nearly the whole world. Help them understand that bad things happen to everyone sometimes. Be grateful that we have as many blessings as we do. Count them and name them. Thank god for them. When trials come see them as learning and growing opportunities as much as possible but accept that challenges are part of life. God is not as callous as portrayed in Job. God is not as petty as portrayed in Jonah. God is not as random as portrayed in the story of the man killed for steadying the ark.
"You can always do better and try harder and god blesses those who do enough." Eldon kartchner (left the church when his wife died) relating his own personal battles with the doctrine of deserving blessings (D&C 82:10).
JB
"The most damaging element of the church is that it allows and promotes personal fault as the primary reason for distance from the divine."
ReplyDelete-It's been 15 years since I was an active Mormon but I acutely remember the shame and guilt I initially felt when doubting Mormon doctrine, it was instinctual. Thank you for writing this (and the blog itself). My family is currently going through enormous turmoil as two of my brothers (both served missions and married in LDS temples) have left the church for reasons exactly similar to your own. Our parents have been only judgmental and nearly abandoned relationships with their children. The quote above is exactly the attitude they display, it has been heart-breaking to see. A loving, happy family being ruined... over dogma.