One of the most compelling reasons I could come up with to stay in the church as I was pondering leaving was that the society is strong. It is a vibrant group of people, and opportunities (and hopefully willingness) to serve abound. What would I replace all of those opportunities to serve with?
What exactly was the nature of the church service? In some cases, it was working at a cannery to help feed the needy. In others it was leading a scout troop. Others it was lending a hand on a major repair project or clean-up effort. Ability to participate in all of these activities is not diminished by leaving the church. And the day to day efforts to serve? Home teaching? I like that home teaching taught me to think about people, but so do meals on wheels. What about the correlatory efforts that transpire to nurture and build and promote missionary efforts. I see most of this effort as purely retention, recruitment, and indoctrination designed to integrate people into the society and the theology. It isn't as altruistic as I once perceived it to be. Even in my own service, I recognize that much of why I served the way I served (to magnify and build up my calling) was about me 'showing' a noble example and I lapped up the praise that parents of young men heaped on my shoulders as I valiantly served in the kingdom. I'm sorry if this disappoints any who served with me, or whom I served. I regret that my intentions weren't more pure. I promise that at the time, I thought they were. And I always testified what was in my heart. The gospel narrative was a compelling story, but in the end, it isn't true.
JB
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