Just LOVE Elder Uchtdorf's comparison of people who ask questions to those who think the world is flat. < / sarcasm > If that just isn't the pot calling the kettle black.
I propose that the phrase 'Search, Ponder, and Pray' be forever stricken from the manuals and songs of the church. If members aren't really expected to search and ponder, why tell them to do it? Henceforth, the new motto of the church shall be, 'Cower, Listen, and Obey' as a more accurate representation of how members should receive knowledge.
JB
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
What about all the good?
One of the most compelling reasons I could come up with to stay in the church as I was pondering leaving was that the society is strong. It is a vibrant group of people, and opportunities (and hopefully willingness) to serve abound. What would I replace all of those opportunities to serve with?
What exactly was the nature of the church service? In some cases, it was working at a cannery to help feed the needy. In others it was leading a scout troop. Others it was lending a hand on a major repair project or clean-up effort. Ability to participate in all of these activities is not diminished by leaving the church. And the day to day efforts to serve? Home teaching? I like that home teaching taught me to think about people, but so do meals on wheels. What about the correlatory efforts that transpire to nurture and build and promote missionary efforts. I see most of this effort as purely retention, recruitment, and indoctrination designed to integrate people into the society and the theology. It isn't as altruistic as I once perceived it to be. Even in my own service, I recognize that much of why I served the way I served (to magnify and build up my calling) was about me 'showing' a noble example and I lapped up the praise that parents of young men heaped on my shoulders as I valiantly served in the kingdom. I'm sorry if this disappoints any who served with me, or whom I served. I regret that my intentions weren't more pure. I promise that at the time, I thought they were. And I always testified what was in my heart. The gospel narrative was a compelling story, but in the end, it isn't true.
JB
What exactly was the nature of the church service? In some cases, it was working at a cannery to help feed the needy. In others it was leading a scout troop. Others it was lending a hand on a major repair project or clean-up effort. Ability to participate in all of these activities is not diminished by leaving the church. And the day to day efforts to serve? Home teaching? I like that home teaching taught me to think about people, but so do meals on wheels. What about the correlatory efforts that transpire to nurture and build and promote missionary efforts. I see most of this effort as purely retention, recruitment, and indoctrination designed to integrate people into the society and the theology. It isn't as altruistic as I once perceived it to be. Even in my own service, I recognize that much of why I served the way I served (to magnify and build up my calling) was about me 'showing' a noble example and I lapped up the praise that parents of young men heaped on my shoulders as I valiantly served in the kingdom. I'm sorry if this disappoints any who served with me, or whom I served. I regret that my intentions weren't more pure. I promise that at the time, I thought they were. And I always testified what was in my heart. The gospel narrative was a compelling story, but in the end, it isn't true.
JB
Resigning my membership
This past week, I resigned my name (and the names of my children) from the rolls of the church. I was sent a letter asking me to reconsider and telling me of the grave eternal consequences of my action and that I would be contacted by my bishop or stake president. I am grateful that my bishop is not, nor will be, a mindless tool in Salt Lake's belt to attempt to convince me that this is wrong. He may believe it is wrong, but he knows too many people that are good even without the church to believe it to have eternal consequences.
I'm not turning my back on what I believe is good. I'm not turning my back on morality or principles of compassion and integrity. I'm making changes that represent, to the best of my ability, an attempt at personal healing and closure of the past. I have not been offended by anybody with whom I've associated at a personal level in the church. I have considered everyone I met truly a brother or sister. My grievance is with the general leadership's inability to tell the truth about the past, and their treatment of thinkers, gays, and women. This is a church with serious morality problems at the heart. The limbs and members are healthy, but it is corrupted from within.
JB
I'm not turning my back on what I believe is good. I'm not turning my back on morality or principles of compassion and integrity. I'm making changes that represent, to the best of my ability, an attempt at personal healing and closure of the past. I have not been offended by anybody with whom I've associated at a personal level in the church. I have considered everyone I met truly a brother or sister. My grievance is with the general leadership's inability to tell the truth about the past, and their treatment of thinkers, gays, and women. This is a church with serious morality problems at the heart. The limbs and members are healthy, but it is corrupted from within.
JB
The parable of the fraidy cat
Our new cat, Sheldon, spent the better part of two days hiding behind the washing machine, because it was the first place he was let out of his cat cage, and he realized that no one could 'get him' behind there. It was a place of refuge. As he warmed to us as a family, he gradually started leaving the laundry room, but would nervously look around corners, and frequently and without explanation, scurry back to the laundry behind the washing machine. After a couple weeks of living with our family, Sheldon has pretty much mastered the upstairs floor of the house, and has started to investigate the lower level.
Members of the church are taught that the world is full of evil and wrong, and from fear of the unknown, they choose to confine themselves behind the washer as a shield against a bad world. I'm sure that there are bad people. I've met a few of them. I'm sure that there are ways a person can get hurt. I've seen a few of them. But like the miserably depressed creature whose happiness consisted of cowering in a solitary location, missing out on the chance to get to explore and experience the world is a tragedy. I embrace the chance to see the world, good and bad, and like the wide-eyed wonderment of Sheldon, I'm apprehensive about what I might find around the corner, but to be too afraid to try would mean missing out on a good chance that I can trade in the cold hard tile floor of the laundry with a soft, snuggly pillow in a bedroom. Goodbye cold tile floor: Hello snuggly pillow!
JB
Members of the church are taught that the world is full of evil and wrong, and from fear of the unknown, they choose to confine themselves behind the washer as a shield against a bad world. I'm sure that there are bad people. I've met a few of them. I'm sure that there are ways a person can get hurt. I've seen a few of them. But like the miserably depressed creature whose happiness consisted of cowering in a solitary location, missing out on the chance to get to explore and experience the world is a tragedy. I embrace the chance to see the world, good and bad, and like the wide-eyed wonderment of Sheldon, I'm apprehensive about what I might find around the corner, but to be too afraid to try would mean missing out on a good chance that I can trade in the cold hard tile floor of the laundry with a soft, snuggly pillow in a bedroom. Goodbye cold tile floor: Hello snuggly pillow!
JB
What about all the good?
One of the most compelling reasons I could come up with to stay in the church as I was pondering leaving was that the society is strong. It is a vibrant group of people, and opportunities (and hopefully willingness) to serve abound. What would I replace all of those opportunities to serve with?
What exactly was the nature of the church service? In some cases, it was working at a cannery to help feed the needy. In others it was leading a scout troop. Others it was lending a hand on a major repair project or clean-up effort. Ability to participate in all of these activities is not diminished by leaving the church. And the day to day efforts to serve? Home teaching? I like that home teaching taught me to think about people, but so do meals on wheels. What about the correlatory efforts that transpire to nurture and build and promote missionary efforts. I see most of this effort as purely retention, recruitment, and indoctrination designed to integrate people into the society and the theology. It isn't as altruistic as I once perceived it to be. Even in my own service, I recognize that much of why I served the way I served (to magnify and build up my calling) was about me 'showing' a noble example and I lapped up the praise that parents of young men heaped on my shoulders as I valiantly served in the kingdom. I'm sorry if this disappoints any who served with me, or whom I served. I regret that my intentions weren't more pure. I promise that at the time, I thought they were. And I always testified what was in my heart. The gospel narrative was a compelling story, but in the end, it isn't true.
JB
What exactly was the nature of the church service? In some cases, it was working at a cannery to help feed the needy. In others it was leading a scout troop. Others it was lending a hand on a major repair project or clean-up effort. Ability to participate in all of these activities is not diminished by leaving the church. And the day to day efforts to serve? Home teaching? I like that home teaching taught me to think about people, but so do meals on wheels. What about the correlatory efforts that transpire to nurture and build and promote missionary efforts. I see most of this effort as purely retention, recruitment, and indoctrination designed to integrate people into the society and the theology. It isn't as altruistic as I once perceived it to be. Even in my own service, I recognize that much of why I served the way I served (to magnify and build up my calling) was about me 'showing' a noble example and I lapped up the praise that parents of young men heaped on my shoulders as I valiantly served in the kingdom. I'm sorry if this disappoints any who served with me, or whom I served. I regret that my intentions weren't more pure. I promise that at the time, I thought they were. And I always testified what was in my heart. The gospel narrative was a compelling story, but in the end, it isn't true.
JB
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